Well, looks like I found the first nominee for the 2009 "FAIL" awards...

I had a funny thought no more than 30 seconds ago. I was thinking that throughout the year, I should keep tabs on all the stupid people that attempt to argue with me on my own videos, pick the stupidest five people, and have a poll at the end of the year on the winner, voted on by the people here. I don't know what prize this lucky person would win, but I can figure that out later. I might need more than 6 people to participate too, but I'm sure readers would be interested to give me their two cents without singing up.

The first nominee for this dubious contest goes to the YouTube user: "expiredgoose".

This is the video his poignant comments appear on: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ryeZQg9i5Tg

Even more amazingly, some other idiot also commented on this video two months ago, calling me stupid because he thought I was claiming that it was Rob Halford singing. Obviously he couldn't make the distinction between HALFORD and HARTFORD...which is the location of the concert. Then he plays it off later, as if it was I who made the error. Dumbass. I would of made him a nominee too, but I didn't have this idea until now, so he can't enter this contest. Lucky devil...

I feel I should post his comments, and then give my analysis of them. I don't feel I did an adequate job over at YouTube, because they only allow 500 characters. This is the exact reason I created a blog...when I go after someone, I look to completely demoralize them and make them wish they never had bothered to bash their heads on the keyboard and send me their incoherent bullshit in the first place.

First comment:
expiredgoose (1 day ago)

this is fucking brutal
dio drove black sabbath into the ground
his voice is fucking horrible out of key not a fucking note is proper
hes an idiot

I made no edits to this. Why mess with brilliance? This comment, while annoying, isn't quite enough to make me flip out (as evidenced by the response I gave him). He has an opinion, even though it's horribly written and that last little jab at Dio makes it seem childish. I'm not sure how he thinks Dio drove Sabbath into the ground, as "Heaven and Hell" was a comeback album and pretty much kicked Black Sabbath in the balls and made them respectable again. His comments about Dio's performance are actually fair...he didn't sing NIB well on this occasion. Fine. However, I don't recall Ozzy singing perfectly every time out either...or at all in the last 5-7 years. But it's ok to slam Dio, because he's Dio. He's not Ozzy.

Comment #2:
expiredgoose (19 hours ago)

ozzy was the best voice in rock and roll when he was in black sabbath,black sabbath from 1968-1979 was black sabbath,they invented the key they play in they werent some filling in bullshit that just fucks the song,ronnie james doi wasnt a part of the band he was a peice of duct tape over a hole in the wall

Okay...I'm calling bullshit here. The first thing that starts to irritate me, is that he starts throwing out dates like I somehow don't know the history of Black Sabbath. Yes, I'm fully aware Ozzy was in the band from 1969-1979. Keep in mind they were still "Earth" until August '69. So, he's technically wrong already, but that's nit-picking. There's much more stuff to pick on here. Like that brilliant line about Sabbath "inventing the key they play in". WTF??? You can't 'invent' a musical key you douche. I think he's talking about tuning down, but Sabbath didn't even do this until 1971. I also don't understand how he decided that Ozzy was the "best voice in rock and roll". What standard is he using to determine that? Everyone with a brain knows he's not the best technically. As a showman...well, I seem to recall Ozzy not being too wild until the mid 70s. I think Alice Cooper was a hell of a better showman, and I'm sure there's others as well.

The thing that gets me the most is something I mentioned in a previous post. How come these pro-Ozzy fans type like a bunch of broken-handed 5 year olds? If you're going to argue with me, it might help your cause if you at least LOOKED intelligent by writing sentences and spelling words right. Just some advice. If I wrote something like that and gave it to my boss, my ass would be fired. That's a real world application for those who will say "it's the internet, so who cares?". Great.

Comment #3:
expiredgoose (7 hours ago)

ronnie james dio is sac-religious to black sabbath,his voice sounds like kittens being raped and after ozzy left the band fell apart tony is the only one that didnt leave the band after ozzy left,bill and geezer soon followed ozzy because of drug problems and MUSICAL DIFFENCES meaning they didnt like dios style which i dont think you can find any pure sabbath fan that did.... your blasphemy to the sabbs is gross and you say you may be a sabbath fan,but your rootin for the wrong sabbath,1968-1979

Where the fuck do I even begin with this? Thinking back, I wished I had just asked him "How do you know what kittens being raped sounds like?", and left it at that, but the crux of his message is so mindblowingly stupid that I would of felt unsatisfied. Again, his history is a little off. I find it funny how he highlights 'musical diffences' and says 'they didn't like dios style' and uses that as an excuse as to why Dio-led Sabbath sucks. Well maybe you haven't heard you dolt, but that exact lineup is releasing a new album on April 28. So much for 'musical diffences'. Not to mention "Dehumanizer"...

I also like how this jackass feels he's speaking for all of Sabbath fandom when he thinks that "no pure Sabbath fan" liked Dio's style. I know a lot of Sabbath fans that not only like it, but they prefer it. Joe Siegler (www.black-sabbath.com) himself admits to discovering Sabbath through "Mob Rules"...not the classic lineup. I'm glad you're around though to speak for the people 'expiredgoose'. What the fuck would they do without your infinite wisdom?

The thing that pisses me off the most is when my allegiance to the band is questioned. Who the fuck does this asshole think he is saying I'm not a true Sabbath fan, or that I'm "rootin for the wrong Sabbath". It's fine to have preferences; I do and I know other people do as well, but this is the fact: There is ONE Black Sabbath. Black Sabbath has Tony Iommi in it. Any record that says Black Sabbath, released by Mr. Iommi, is a Black Sabbath record. You don't have to like it, and you don't need to buy it or listen to it, but that doesn't change the facts. If this jackass wants to lie to himself and think they aren't Sabbath records, then fine, but don't sit there and tell me I'm wrong. I'm not into revisionist history and I'm not into Ozzy fanboys trying to spin it to make Ozzy look like a God and everyone else ever associated with Sabbath look like crap. I make a conscious effort to promote all eras of the band's work on my YouTube page, because it's all part of history. Yes, people prefer certain singers and musicians and that's fine as long as you're respectful and intelligent about it. That type of debate makes everyone better off. "expiredgoose" and his bullshit doesn't. He's just another Ozzy fanboy who has none NOTHING other than bitch and whine and argue with other Sabbath fans who don't kiss Ozzy's ass. Maybe when this asshole shares as much of his music collection and time as I have, then maybe he can talk about how I'm supposedly committing 'blasphemy'. Until then, he can simply shut the fuck up.

Congrats on your nomination 'expiredgoose'.